


In The Dark

by iswawrites



Series: In The Dark [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:05:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7571749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iswawrites/pseuds/iswawrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It almost becomes a habit now. She always finds herself in the dark of the night, listening to stories and tales of a man once great, once living, once free, once happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**i**. _nightmares_

 

Wanda doesn't mean to at first. She's just walking,wandering through the compound, letting her feet guide her through the dark corridors. It's the middle of the night, the sun long gone, replaced by the moon. She'd rather focus on the cold feeling beneath the palms of her feet than what is keeping her awake at such an hour. She prefers wandering around instead of laying in her bed – too comfy, too big, too _lonely_ \- and remembering the nightmares. So she lets her feet take her away. It's a cold night, and she's only wearing a black nightgown and underwear. But she doesn't want to go back to her room, not yet, not _now_ , not while the images, the memories are still too vivid in her mind. So she doesn't mean to stumble upon Steve, or well, his voice. She hears him from afar, senses him, his sadness, his loneliness, his _longing_. She doesn't mean to follow his voice in the darkness, but her feet have a mind of their own apparently and she listens as she gets closer, his words making more sense with each step.

 

“And you'd always, always try to get those candies” A pause. A small chuckle. “ And the worst thing is , I know you ..hated them ? Sort of, I mean... you didn't like mint, I know that, so why'd you stick to have that weird mint and chocolate bar ?”

 

Wanda risks peeking through the door ; the room is dark, and Steve is sitting by the cryo, next to where Bucky lies. She breaks at the sight, at the look on his face. It's sad, and lonely, and so shattered with emotions that she wishes she could do something. She almost reaches out , almost wants to step into the room and tell him it's okay. But she can't, because he wouldn't let her lie to him, and he would ask her why she's still up at such an ungodly hour, and she doesn't want to talk about the nightmare, doesn't want to think of it really. So she keeps quiet and watches, and listens as he tells yet another story of him and his bestfriend.

And she can't even begin to understand what it must feel like, loosing him, once again, only days after finding him again. He must hurt so much, she thinks, and she almost tells herself she's happy it's not her. She wouldn't be able to bare it if it had been her brother, knowing he had died only to find out he didn't , only to loose him all over again. She would have broke, even more than now. It's selfish, and she's selfish, and she kind of hates her for this , but it's only one more thing to add up to the list.

She notices a small flip phone next to him, in his hand and he's fidgetting with it as he talks and it makes a small noise each time the device hits the floor and she wonders, _what_ , _why_  ; but she doesn't ask. It's none of her business, really . So she listens to Steve in the dark for a while before going back to her room, her mind full of tales of a man she doesn't know.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**ii**. _secrets_.

It almost becomes a habit now. She always finds herself in the dark of the night, listening to stories and tales of a man once great, once living, once free, once happy. And as she listens, she tells herself that James – _Bucky_ , she finds that the name as a nice resonance in her mind - would have been good friends with her brother, with Pietro, and that even _she_ could have been friends with him. She likes to think of the two of them, laughing over drinks and stupid jokes, and she imagines her brother laugh and she's sad but it fades as she tries to imagine James' laugh. Would it be like the thunder in a storm ? Or would it be as light and sweet as fingers on an harp's strings ? She doesn't know him after all. And she likes it, she likes hearing Steve talking about his memories of his bestfriend ; she kind of feels as if she's intruding, but something in her can't seem to keep her away, and she doesn't want to. She doesn't want to, because then she doesn't have to think about the nightmares anymore, and the flashes don't die, but there are less there when she's listening, focusing on the tales about James.

So that's why she's surprised when one night, she doesn't hear anything coming from the room. No voice, not even the little sound of the noise of the phone that it usually does when Steve taps it against the cold floor, when he's telling a particularly sad memory. She peeks through the door, and finds the room empty. No Steve, no phone, only the cryo, and the moonlight shining bright, high in the sky. She doesn't want to, but she can't help herself ; and she soon finds herself in front of the cryo, and she looks, stares almost, as she realizes this is the closest she's ever been to James in the short time she's known him. The compartiment he's closed in is full of ice that's blurring is face but she can still see him, his features. In the back of her mind, she thinks he's handsome, that he must have been even more handsome back when he was young, that girls probably fought to win his heart. And she admires as his face is peaceful, serene. _Angel_ , she thinks as the moon lets its rays travel across the glass , illuminating his soft features. And the room is so quiet, so peaceful, so serene, she doesn't mind it, she indulges it even. The noise in her brain, the voices that sometimes keeps her from thinking rationnaly finally silences themselves as she looks at him, through the glass. She lifts her hand, she wants to touch him, maybe feel something through him. Her fingers are only centimeters way from the glass before a voice stops her.

 

“I knew it was you.”

 

She suddenly turns around, and sees Steve, leaning in the doorframe, a small smile playing on the corner of his lips. She retracts her hand, and looks at the cryo, before bowing her head, in embarassment.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It's alright” The man says, and he's walking towards her , and looks at his bestfriend. “I guess, you must be curious about him ; you don't know him, and I brought you into this.. because of him”

 

She registers his words and she feels even more embarassed. She wouldn't have followed Steve into this war, if she hadn't known that it was worth it. He sacrificed one friendship over another, true, but he helped saving someone, someone he loved deeply, and proved his innocence in the end. If it would have been Pietro, she would have done just as much, probably more.

 

“You rescued us” her voice is barely a whisper but she knows he can hear it. “ If it was only him, about James, you could have just left us in those cells.. But you didn't.”

 

Memories of the cell comes back to her, crashing into her, she remembers the electric collar, the cuffs and the tighteness of them around her wrists, the sight of the straight jacket they had put her in, the bars in front of her. And then Steve. Steve coming to rescue them, taking her off this straight jacket, taking the collar off. There had been T'Challa, as well, helping the others and she remembers a vague sight of James in the corner, but she had been so shaken herself, so contained that she hadn't given it a second thought and just went on trying to calm herself first.

She shakes her head, not wanting to remember the times spent in that cell.

 

“Yeh, guess I did..”

 

They stay silent after he speaks, she keeps her head down, feels as if she can't look him in the eyes, like an intruder of some sort. And she notices that his hands are both in his pockets, and that one of them is moving repeatedly, his fingers seemingly tapping on something.

 _The phone_.

She doesn't mean to ask, she really doesn't, but then again, she didn't mean to do a lot of things in her life.

 

“What's the phone for ?”

 

Steve stops his movments in his pocket, and turns to her. He looks at her for a moment ; she can see that he's debating whether or not to tell her, and she looks right back at him and she sees, feels, senses, every little secret that he's holding. She feels the longing, the yearning, the loneliness, the sadness emanating from him, and something inside of her tells her that it's not all meant for James, for Bucky, and she suddenly realizes.

 

“Stark.”

 

Steve adverting her gaze gives her the answer she needs. She doesn't say anything, just nod then looks to the cryo, then back at Steve. She has to reach through her memories, broken, blurry memories to understand that James was not just staying the corner because he didn't fit in, but because he was broken, himself. And then she remembers.

 

“What really happened in Siberia ?.. He didn't have his arm when we came here. Always wondered why .”

 

Steve sighs, takes his hands out of his pockets, the phone hidden in one of them and sits, his legs crossed in front of him. Wanda mirrors his movments, and sit. The floor is cold and she takes a moment to feel comfortable, before turning to Steve.

And he tells her, he tells her everything, the words spilling out of his mouth and he's explaining how Zemo showed Tony the footage of his parents' death and he tells how Tony went full on rage against Bucky and ripped the metal arm and that he just flipped then, he lost it and his voice breaks as he pronounces the words _cruel_ and _shield_ and _broke_ and _his heart_. He stops for a moment and she sees something shining in his eyes as some more pieces of him breaks. She puts a hand on his knee, squeezing it gently ; she's never been the nurturing type ; it was always Pietro, always him that comforted him, that hugged her, told her everything would be okay. It was always him the nice one, the happy one, the vibrant one ; she was always like this with him, but she doesn't know how to be all these things now that he's gone.

But she thinks of Steve, who not only lost his bestfriend – on his decision still – but also Tony, who was Steve's friend, she knows that. She remembers Stark coming by the Avengers Facility often, she remembers Steve's smile as Tony stepped out of the elevator, she remembers them being the only two left as she went to sleep on some nights, she remembers them talking in hushed voices and being close and smiles exchanged in the comfort of one another, she remembers the slump of Steve's shoulders each time Tony had to leave, she remembers how after a while Tony had been less present, and how Steve seemed less himself, his mind always somewhere else. She remembers all this, and she wonders about the two of them.

 

“Did he call ?”

 

Steve's eyes flick to the phone, that he's playing with, as always.

 

“He will. When he needs me, he will.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because the fight scene in civil war fucked me up.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 **iii**. _keeper_

Steve doesn't come. After that night where he told her, he doesn't come in the room and talk to Bucky, but she still goes, because she likes it there. It's quiet and far enough from her room that the voices don't follow her there. She sits next to the cryo, sometimes directly in front of the large window glass and watches the wide Wakandan jungle. She doesn't talk, and she's not looking for a discussion, she just wants silence, peace, quietness, and she tells herself that she finds it in James. She spends night sitting by the cryo, thinking of him, of James, thinking of the stories she heard Steve speak of, she thinks of what kind of soldier he must've been one – a good one-, of what kind of friend it must have been for Steve to fight for him that way – a loyal one - and she feels close to him in some way, thinking of him, being next to him. She wishes she had known him even more than the first time she heard Steve's tales. It's bad, she tells herself, to long for a time you didn't know, but it was war and he enlisted and he was a soldier and she was born in a country at war and she didn't feel safe unless she was with her brother. But _it's safe here_ , she thinks, _next to him_.

One night, though, as she sits by the cryo, the memories of her brother, come rushing to her and she lets tears escape. She lets them fall, lets them run down her cheeks, leaving a shiny trail on her skin. She doesn't like crying in front of others but it's not like James can see her. So she cries, she lets herself go, and lets out the sobs, and the whines, and the whispers of her brother's name. She lets it all out and she hopes that James doesn't mind keeping them for her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not all the parts are going to super long or super short. I just write and the length kinda decide itself.


	4. Chapter 4

**iv**. _renaissance_

She doesn't understand how she found herself in that position. One minute ago, she was speaking about her brother, about his reckless behaviour, about his jokes, about their childhood in a war-torn Sokovia, she was speaking how she missed his laugh most, and he was always there for her before she even knew she needed him. She loved talking to James about her brother, even though he probably couldn't hear. But it was just nice to let it all out. Some nights, she would sing Sokovian lullabies that their mother would sing to them before bed. It was peaceful, and pure, and serene and she needed that, she loved it.

So when she had heard the first noise, the first explosion, her first reaction had been to reach for the cryo. She heard another explosition and she turned to the cryo, eyes alert, searching for something. She didn't know what, or why, but she searched. _James_ , _James_ , _James_. Her mind kept repeating his name. The third explosition made her leave him. She ran to her room, and grabbed her clothes. If was going to fight, she needed to put on proper clothes. She got dressed in seconds, and then run back outside. The compound was being attacked, but she didn't know by whom. She found Sam, Steve and T'Challa fighting men in the large living room – a devastated living room, parts of the building were falling as more explositions were heard. She raised her hands, her energy pushing the men apart from her friends. The opponents went flying through the shattered glass window.

 

“Who the hell are they ?” Sam yelled.

 

As to answer his question, a vibrant sound was heard. An helicopter.

 

“Fugitives, here Senator Ross, we know that you are in the building, and that the Winter Soldier is with you. We demand you surrender to us and give us The Winter Soldier , and no further harm will be done.”

 

The voice of the Senator comes through the deafening sound of the helicopter, his voice confident and certain. T'Challa, Steve , Sam all shared a look.

 

“Wanda with me, Sam and T'Challa take down as much men as you can ; Scott, go to the jungle and do whatever with the ants, just please, stop their helicopter.” Steve said.

 

Wanda followed Steve as the rest of them – she didn't see Scott but supposed he was already miniaturized – left to fight. More US Army men came to them. She saw Steve's jaw clench as he had to hurt them, men who fought for a country he loved and respected dearly. They both stopped men who tried to get to James, to Bucky, and she's creating a energy barrier while Steve is taking down men one by one. It's when she hears the window glass of the room breaking that she's taken aback. Her barrier falls down as she sees men coming in, gliding off their ropes and taking out knifes and guns and walking towards her and the cryo.

She doesn't think then. She reaches forwards, pushing the men through the space where the window used to be, even though more are arriving ; Steve is still fighting and she's scared of what his answer might be, so she reaches for the consol near the cryo and lowards all the buttons and watches as the frozen cloud fades. It fades, slowly, but not fast enough.

More men come and she has to fight them and she mentally thanks Steve for teaching her one on one combat training, and she uses her powers for her barrier which keeps them away long enough. But the cloud is _not_ dissipating fast enough, it's not and she can't bear the noise as she desperately begs for the cloud to be gone and for James to come back, to be there and help. And she doesn't understand, she doesn't understand how she found herself in that position. The cloud is only halfway down, and she curses in Sokovian, places both of her hands on the glass as she pushes red energy towards it.

 _Please, please, please_.

She tries to focus her energy on both the barrier forces and the cryo's cloud but she can't and there's too much noise and it's too loud compared to only a moment ago and she just can't anymore. And she breaks and she falls to her knees, and tries to catch her breath. She hears her name being called but she can't focus and it's Sokovia all over again when she felt her brother leave, leave her, this world, and it's too overwhelming and she really tries to fight the tears and the feelings, but it's all too much, it's too there.

But something stops in her mind, something ceases and she looks up and she sees James' eyes, and they're open and he's looking at her and his lips are slightly parted and she can't help but think _wow_.

But soon – _too soon_ – he's staring right in front of him and steps out of the cryo, throwing a punch. Wanda turns , and see the men, now prisonner of his James' grip around his throat. Other men come rushing but Wanda, now set and full of rage at them, throws balls of red energy at them. They go flying through the jungle and she does all she can, but every time there are more coming and she can't help but ask herself how many did Ross send out to get them. And she hates the man and she wishes she could see the helicopter from where she is, and she prays for Scott and that he finds a way and that he's safe.

They fight for what seems like hours before she sees a flash of red and gold and then she sees the helicopter and smoke and the elices turning as it descends and crashes and then she sees Iron Man, in armor, flying through the air , around the compound and he comes through the broken wall of the room. She wonders why Stark is here, how did he find out. He raises his repulsors at the remaining opponents, and the army men all raise their hands in surrender. Stark nods but doesn't lower his repulsors. He turns his metal head towards them, first Wanda, then James but only for a brief second, and finally Steve, but the movment is as brief as the previous one, even shorter if Wanda dared to say.


	5. Chapter 5

**v**. _reunion_

They stop the opponents and manage to get everyone out. T'Challa suggests that they all move to a cleaner place, so they all gather in cars and move. She saw Clint and Natasha and Vision, and she can't help but wonder _why_ , _how_ , and it's all she's been doing lately, for the past few hours, as the van she's in takes her away. She's not alone, Steve, James, Sam and Clint are with her. Steve has his head down, his fingers crossed on his lap ; she can't see his face and she doesn't want to go inside his head to know how he feels. She can't help but feel empathy for him. She turns to James and he's already watching her. She feels uncomfortable all of sudden and she wants him to stop but at the same time she doesn't and she just stares right back at him and he doesn't lower his gaze. Something flashes in his eyes and she doesn't know what it is, doesn't want to know what it is. And she thinks of all the nights she spent listening Steve talking to him, recollecting old memories, and she thinks of all the nights she spent crying and herself talking to him in the room , and she wonders _does he know ? Did he_ _hear_ _me_? And she's not sure she wants the answers to her questions.

 

“You alright, kid ?”

 

Clint's voice brings her back, and she turns to him, he's next to her, shoulder and knee touching. He's bruised and has a few cuts here and there, but he looks good, and she's missed him really, he taught her so much along with Steve ; she knows he feels like he owes her something but it's more than that now. He's a father-figure to her and she feels good, at ease, grounded as he looks at her.

 

“Yeh”, she nods. “ Missed you.” she adds in a whisper.

 

His face breaks in a smile, and he bumps his shoulder into hers, and she missed him, misses him so much. He's right next to her and she remembers learning how to fight with him and nights they spent talking about her brother, and she remembered the guilt he feels – still feels, she knows that, she can still feel it right now as he looks at her – but she's so relieved that he's okay, she had been so scared when he had said he was going home after Steve fred them.

 

“Missed you too kid.”

 

And it's nice, she tells herself, to have him back, and even though she doesn't know what's coming next, she knows that at least she has him and she thinks her brother would like that, that she's not alone in this. So she smiles at him, before leaning her head back against the moving van and closes her eyes, still feeling James' eyes on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Clint parenting Wanda? Sign me the fuck up!


	6. Chapter 6

**vi**. _answers_

She watches as Stark explains what happened, how Ross painted a target on every superpowered person's forehead who didn't sign the Accords. She watches as Natasha explains that she didn't find Banner, and Wanda sees something in her eyes, and she senses disappointment and relief and she's not sure how that works, but she lets it be because it's not her place. She watches as Tony looks at everyone but Steve or James, and she watches as James watches her and she watches as Steve looks at Tony and she feels it again, this longing and yearning, but there's something else, something she can't pinpoint exactly. She tries to focus on the words out of Stark's mouth, and not on the look in James' eyes , like he knows, he knows her, _remembers her_ , and that sets her off more than she likes to admit.

 

“So, what do we do now ?” Steve's voice is soft, but something in his eyes is torn and Wanda wishes she could fix it.

 

And it's the first time Stark looks at him since he's arrived, truly looks at him, and something is exchanged in that look, as they both look at eachother, and don't break the contact for a few minutes, before Stark breaks it, shaking his head.

 

“Well, we can't go back to New York, that's certain. But we can't stay here either” Tony says, turning away from the group.

 

“Something should be said here” T'Challa speaks up. “ If you go, wherevere it is you decide to go, you have to understand that it's not just the United States anymore, it's also Wakanda, and every other country that holds someone with powers. It's bigger than you, and you have to understand all of it before you decide to agree , or not agree , to anything.”

 

Oh, she sees it. She sees it in his straight posture, in his confident look, in his set face and clenched jaw, she hears it in his diplomatic yet defying voice. She sees it, he's _a true monarch_ , a good person who knows when to be good and when to be a fighter. She sees it and can't help to envy his control over his own self. He knows when to be a diplomatic figure and when to be ruthless and dangerous. And she remembers how he fought so bravely at the airport, how he still went after Steve and Bucky as pieces of the building were about to crash him dead.

 

“Well, we'll stay together, we can't risk being too apart from eachother, now that the US government wants our heards on silver plates.” Natasha says and everyone nods quietly. “T'Challa, are you sure that we can stay the time we figure something out ?”

 

“Of course, my men will fight to defend us.”

 

“Well, I won't mind a little nap right now.” Sam says, breaking a bit of the tension.

 

Everyone stands up, except Steve who stays put and Tony who's already standing, still in the same position, and neither of them moves. Wanda goes to leave , but she sees the look on Steve's face when Bucky squeezes his shoulder before leaving. Wanda quickly retreats to the room that has been given to her, avoiding his gaze as she litterally runs away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed some T'Challa in my life, but everytime, I try writing more about him, it's garbage.


	7. Chapter 7

vii. _strangers_

 

When she sees him later that night, she wants to run. She's one step in the large living room and she sees the back of his head , and she wants to run. But he's already turning towards her, his eyes bright in the dark room, the shadows playing on his face, and it's too late.

 

“Hey.”

 

His voice is rough, raw, and it's only one word, but she finds something extremely comforting in it, and she finds herself moving towards him. She sits on the couch opposite from him, he didn't stop staring at her as she moved accross the room and she didn't either. They watch eachother for a while, a long time, without either of them saying a word. And it's rather intimate, personal, and there's a feeling of sharing in the air and Wanda thinks it's funny how she used to spend nights watching him, sometimes talking, sometimes crying, but now that he's here, she doesn't know what to do with herself. And funny how she feels so close to him, but somehow she is slowly putting up walls around her to keep him out. Funny how she spent nights crying in the room, near him, but now she can't let herself say one simple word. Funny how he watches her like she is a wonder, like she's a fragile vase, like she needs protection, like she could kill him in a minute but would let her do it, like he owes her something.

It's funny, as he watches her , and she watches him, and they're two strangers, watching eachother in the night.

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

viii. _haunted_

She is suddenly awake in the middle of the night. She first thinks it's another nightmare, but it's not her. She hears her name being called. But not in the mansion, no, in her head. She hears it distinctively and she's out of the door in a minute.

 _Wanda. Wanda. Wanda_.

She follows the voice, and she doesn't knock, doesn't need to, she just goes into the room, and finds him there, in the bed, a large bed, and he looks small to her, swallowed by this giant mattress and she has to get on the bed to reach him and his skin is glistening with sweat and his hands are fisting the sheets and his head is shifting from side to side. She can hear him calling out for her in his sleep. _Wanda. Wanda. Wanda._ She feels herself breaking at the sight, and puts a hand on his broad chest.

The reaction is instant. He opens his eyes and his left hand tightens around her throat and she circles his wrist, trying desperately to get free.

 

“James” she whines in a rush.

 

She doesn't want to use her power on him, doesn't want to, _won't_. She taps his hand, repeating his name again, her voice breaking. And he shifts then, his features soften and he's away from her in a second. He's off the bed, and hiding in a corner the next moment and Wanda lets herself catch her breath for a minute.

She gets up , gets off the bed after a while, and takes her time going to him. He doesn't stop watching her, his eyes alert and full of fear. She can't really see it behind his long hair falling before his eyes, but she senses it.

She crouches in front of him, and rests a knee on the ground. She reaches slowly, taking one of his hand between hers, and his skin is cold even though he's covered in sweat, and there are callouses on his fingers but she doesn't mind it as she rubs the skin, warming it up. Her mother used to do this when she and Pietro would come back from school in winter, completely freezing. She repeats the movments to his other hand, and continues in silence, the only sound audible, her skin rubbing against hers.

 

“Why ?”

 

His voice startles her but she doesn't show ; she just looks up at him and raises an eyebrow.

 

“Why.. didn't you push me away ?”

 

Oh. Oh.

 

“What good could it have done ?” her voice is low, and only meant for him, and he continues his watch as she keeps rubbing his hands.

 

“But why ? I could have hurt you.”

 

“You wouldn't have.”

 

“You don't-”

 

“You wouldn't have.” she repeats and her voice is strong, and he pinches his lips. “I don't see you as a threat.”

 

She stops her movements, and rises. She extend her hand, for him to take. He does, after pondering for a second. He's no longer shaking or feeling afraid. She leads him back to the bed, and tuck him in. It brings her to her mother again, and she feels herself turning sad at the memory but she quickly dismisses the thought. She's about to leave, when he grabs her wrist. His grip is not hard, she could easily get away if she wished to. But she turns away and listens to him as he whispers _Stay_. And it's a plea, he's begging, and she wonders about the other him, The Winter Soldier, the Asset, the one who didn't ask nor plea nor beg, who only took and destroyed. She thinks about that other man, but she doesn't find him as James begs her with his eyes, his fingers a nice pressure on her skin. So she glides under the sheets that he's holding out for her and gets comfortable. She's not facing him but she can feel him studying the back of her head. His arm is a nice pressure over her, and she sees his fingers covering hers, and it doesn't bother her. She thinks it should, it should because she hasn't been this close to a man in years, and even then, it was either her brother or the scientists that performed experiments on her. But then again, it was a whole other different touch. This one feels more intimate, even more intimate than last night in the living room, than the nights spent in the room with the cryo. This is something else entirely and she's not sure what, or if she wants to know.

 


	9. Chapter 9

ix. _sheets_

 

They all decide that they can't stay in Wakanda as it's only endangering T'Challa and his people and as a monarch he has to think of his people's wellfare and Wanda respects him even more as he explains this to them. Clint decides to go back to his own home, knowing that he can't just let his family like this and Wanda aches when she hears _family_ out of his mouth. She considers him like family but she knows she's not, not really, not blood-related and she can't ask him to stay, to look after her, he has other duties, other responsabilities, and she's not his first one, she understands. But she still aches. Natasha tells them that she's going after Banner again, and Wanda recognizes her then, the strong woman she knows, the one who taught her how to fight, and how to lay low enough for people not to look at you twice. Steve plans to go back to the US, knowing that he can't stay away from his country, but not New York or Washington. He mentions something about California and out of the corner of her eye, she sees Tony smirking and she notices the way Steve glances at the brunette and she can't help but think that there's something going on here. Sam will go wherever Steve is going really, and then heads turn to her.

She doesn't know, she didn't give it a thought, and it's only been two days since they were attacked and her mind is too blurry, distracted by the memory of Bucky's fingers on hers, of his lips on her shoulder and his breath next to ear. Her skin still itches where he left traces and she had left before he woke up, and she had to take a moment, to watch him, remember him, before leaving him, alone in the sheets.

 

“You could always come with us.” Steve says.

 

And his voice is soft, protective, like it's always been with her, and she loves him, really loves the man and respects him. And truly, what choice does she have ? So she nods, and she finds herself in a planer, no, a jet hired by Stark and she's staring out of the little window, watching Wakanda and all the memories it holds disappear.

 

She doesn't know how he did it, but as soon as they land, Stark has apartments waiting for them. Sam explains her that they're in the North of California, near San Francisco ; she nods, though she's not entirely sure she knows where it is. He takes out his phone to show her on Google Maps and she sees that they are far, far away from New York, and Washington, even further from Wakanda and she asks him if it's far enough.

 

“Something you must know about politicians, darling,” Sam answers, “ When they're looking for something, they tend to look everywhere except right under their stupid selfish policitian nose.”

 

She chuckles and hears Stark laughing and she sees Steve smiling, though she's not sure if his smile is aimed at Sam's answer or not. She turns around, and sees Bucky scanning the air and the rooftops of the buildings.

 

“It's okay, Bucky, we're fine here.” she hears Steve say.

 

She tears her eyes away before he can see her and follows Sam and Stark as the older man lead them to two cars. The ride is fairly quiet, Sam is in the front, next to the driver – Happy , he said his name was,- and she's in the back with James. There's a space between them, and she looks at the window, and she hasn't looked at him since early this morning, when the sun hadn't even rise yet. They arrived in front of a tall building, but not as big or tall as the Avengers Tower. The façade is cover in red bricks and it looks beautiful and it's beautiful day outside and it's still pretty early here compared to Wakanda, and they step into the building, and Stark shows them the apartments. Two apartments, one for the boys, one for Wanda.

 

“Natasha said that she'd drop by from time to time so I wanted you two to have some place nice, _girls only_. “ Stark says, chuckling on his last words.

 

“When exactly did you rent the apartments ?” Sam asks, as we step in the elevator.

 

“It was set on the plane, really but I started to look since this morning or well, yesterday if you're on this zone.”

 

“But how..”

 

“Futurist, bird-guy, there's a reason why the word future is in it .”

 

Sam rolls her eyes and Wanda smirks. One look and Stark hasn't changed that much ; she thinks she likes him better this way, open but not as fake as he seems when there are paparazzis, or journalists shoving microphones in his face. He's a bit more himself here, and she notices how his shoulder is touching Steve's broad chest, resting against it even. She tries to suppress a smile as the elevator stops.

 

That night, she can't sleep, she doesn't know why, the jetlag or something else, but she tosses and turns, takes off the sheets only to put them back on minutes later. She plays with her hair, she tries to sing the lullaby her mother used to sing to her, but nothing works. Her mind keeps wandering off, somewhere else, to someone else..

As if on cue, she hears footsteps. They're quiet, but loud enough for her to know that someone is here. She straightens up in the bed, prepare a ball of red energy in her hand just in case, readdy to attack, and it wouldn't surprise her really if Ross and his hounds found them already, she's kind of expecting of it, waiting on it, but it's James who opens the door, it's James , and that's all her mind can register.

_James, James , James._

His head is low, and his mouth twitches and he wants to say something, she knows, but nothing breaks the silence between them. She just scoots over, making room for him in the already large enough bed, and he crosses the space between them, but only stops before getting on the bed. His eyes travel from her to the space she's offering and she nods, and he looks at her a few seconds more, as if searching, searching for that one thing that would make her realize that he's dangerous and need to be contained. But he finds none of that, and climbs in the bed next to her. At first, he just lays sideways, his eyes on her face, studying her features in the dark, and she doesn't say anything. But after a while, he extends his arms, making small gestures to get closer to her ; it's inly when his fingers touch her that she gets closer herself. Soon enough, she's buried in his chest and she humms his fragrance and she loves it, and it's the best scent really. It reminds her of the smell of fresh-cutted grass, and of the rain in the corn fields in Sokovia. And something else too.

She feels him grabbing the sheets, covering them both, and then his fingertips are on her back and he's writing stories, tracing roads and she falls asleep, head lost in fields, and a burning feeling on her back.


	10. Chapter 10

x. _abditory_

 

They go on like this for days, weeks. They lay together between the sheets at night, bodies close enough to mold, but comes the morning and it's as nothing happened. No word or look is exchanged in the daylight. Wanda finds herself spending all her days in the inside pool of the building, she tries to go when there's not a lot of people ; if there are, then she'll go to the gym and she'll mostly find Steve or Sam there. James is not often with them, and when he is, she stays at the pool or just reads book or stares at the neighbourhood from her window. She thinks about her brother a lot, she wonders if he would have liked this, living here, fighting bullies, being a fugitive ; they had been fugitives, yes, but then, they were together, they had been together, they had been eachother's strength. He had akways been her safe place, her refuge, her abditory. When she needed something, he was there and he would give it to her.

It's dark outside, and she is playing with the flame of a candle she lit up. Passing her finger over the flame, she plays with it until it burns, then does it over again. James hasn't come to her in three nights, and she hasn't seen him during the day either. It feels strange, she feels strange, not sleeping having his arm around her, being alone in the sheets, cold, with her thoughts and the voices to eat her alive. She hadn't asked Steve nor Sam ; it was none of her business she told herself ; he would come when he'd want to, and even if he didn't, then fine. It still stung though, but she remained stoic.

She created a flick of red energy and let it float between her fingers. She wanted so much to quiet the noise, the voices, she wanted nothing more than have a nightmare free sleep. But she knows that it was unlikely to happen. Sighing, she closed her hand, the energy dissipating and crawled into her bed, burying herself under the sheets, pretending that it wasn't tears falling out of her eyes.

 

She woke up abruptly, and it seemed like minutes ago since she had fallen asleep for her, she went to sit up, but strong firm grip, stopped her.

 

“Ssssh, it's me.”

 

 _James_.

 

She lied down and turned towards him ; she reached out, pushing the few strands of hair out of his face, and noticed something _new_.

A shining new metal arm was attached to him and she really wondered how she didn't first see it. She looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed.

 

“How ?”

 

“Stark. He kept me under observations and ran exams on me for two _long_ days..And some more test after they attached it..”

 

She nods, and her fingers ghosts over the place where the metal meets the skin.

 

“Does it hurt ?” she asks as her fingers is connecting the freckles resting on his collarbone.

 

“Not really”, he hisses. She stops. “'am ticklish.”

 

“Oh.”

 

She retracts her hand, but he grabs it back, the metal is cold against her skin but she can get used to it.

 

“Doesn't mean you have to stop.” A pause. “ I needed to see you.”

 

“Why ?”

 

He shrugs.

 

“Kinda missed you.”

 

She would lie if she denied the warm feeling in her chest at the sound of his words. She tried to fight back the smile, but she couldn't, she couldn't and he smiles too and she likes his smile, likes how it eases the tension on his face when he does, and she tells herself that he should always be smiling, he should always be laughing and grinning, because it's her second favorite sight in the whole world. Right after her brother's face.

 

“I could hear you. When I was in the cryo. I could feel your presence somehow.. And I don't know but.. It put me at ease. I felt .. safer, knowing you were there. But sometimes, I heard you.. crying.. and I wanted out, but I couldn't ..”

 

His words dies and she sighs. She shakes her head, not wanting to go down that road again.

 

“It's over now. We're safe.”

 

He doesn't answer, and the silence fills the space around them, their fingers are intertwined between them and she is putting every feature of his to her memory. She doesn't want to forget his face, she doesn't ever want not see his face, not even for a day.

 

“Why aren't you afraid of me ?”

 

And it's the same voice, the same tone, of a man who's not certain, who doesn't know what to do, who's seen awful things and done far worse, , who knows how to instigate fear in a simple look, who's afraid of himself most. And she remembers, the tales of Bucky, _Buck_ , Steve's bestfriend, the one with the big smile, the one who always had mint-chocolate candy eventhough he hated it, the one who fought in line next to his bestfriend. And that's who she sees. She sees _him_. She sees James.

 

“I don't see you as a threat.” she repeats.

 

“You should.”

 

She shrugs. She doesn't know if he's right, a part of her tells her that he is and that she should but another one, bigger, tells herself that they're not so different, that they're the same. Two young people, endoctrined to be something else, something bigger than them, trained to be weapons, used to kill. But she got her second chance. He deserves his.

 

“Well, I'll find a safe place to run to if I need to.”

 

He looks at her then brings her closer to her, buries his face in her neck and his breath tickles her but she likes having it there, knowing it's there, _he_ 's there.

 

“You're my safe place.”

 

She smiles against his ear and she humms against his hair. And she thinks really hard, hoping that the silent words travels to him, because she doesn't trust her voice, doesn't trust her heart , doesn't trust herself as she's so close to him, so close, too close, _not close enough_.

 

_You're mine too, James._

 

And he kisses her hair and she sighs in contentment.

 

“I really like how my name sounds in your voice.”

 

And she smiles, and it's nice, a real one, and she can't help but think that she's okay, she's really okay, so she scoots closer to him, and let his heartbeat take her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this first part... equel? I have already started writing more for them, what can I say. I love them too much.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody, his is my first work here, and my first winterwitch fiction so let me know what you think!  
> It's also on tumblr : cuddlingmess.tumblr.com/tagged/in+the+dark


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